Limbs

i suppose it's a lack of intuition, a missing link or two in the chain of cognition. everyone else is able to tell which way each limb is twisting, the sounds of sockets popping so easily discernible. and there i am, waking up in the middle of the night, frightened by the unfamiliar auditory interruption.

i asked you once: how did you know?
you told me once: i didn't. i just had a hunch. i just went out on a limb.

and i'll sit there. in that chair. in my driveway. in the middle of monroe falls. and i'll rape all the vegetation around me. but i must be way, way off: where the hell is that tree?

i feel...pusillanimous. but in reality, that's the word flashing above your head in neon lights.
and the sign flickers. and it emits a drone. and it's a frequency i don't like. i don't like it and i don't know how to get away from it. the brakes squeak and your sign squeals, it haunts every fiber of my being.

you went out on a limb and you got what you wanted.
i need to find that tree; within the bark and gum of that stick of wood i shall find the demeanor that i exhibit, and i have to kill it.

i have to find who i am and then destroy me.

maybe arsonists are just trying to find themselves.
maybe forest fires are just brilliant epiphanies.

you traced every inch of my limbs with yours,
and i, for the life of me, cannot find that goddamn tree.

Sweetness Revisited

back to the chain of command. a year ago i'm here, a year ago is now.
when words lose their meaning, i'm back with these kids.
they're fun. they're real. they're high.
and high. you're always high.
when the weather gets like this and i get like this and you get like this,
i'm home. you're high, you're sweet, i'm sweet, i'm home.

if only, if only.

the question as of late: you down?

no.
no, i'm not.
but yes,
yes i am.

life's too short not to be down.
turn the car around, make arrangements,
live and breathe and feel and touch.
if you're down, you're not numb.
bottoms up, hands down, this is ohio, this is home,
being careful is for chumps,
of course i'm down, you have my attention,
and the sweetness will not be concerned with me.