freezing cold, dodging into stores to hide, to wait, to finally see you. a reunion of the giants, i say. the windows on the bus cry out in pain with every crack in the street, but don't worry, our leader will fix that, too. the secret weapon is down, winking at a nerdy kid from a neighboring high school, he blushes, and i think, well, isn't that cute? then i get mad: how come nobody ever did that for me? all i got was a bitter old man who thought jesus loved him, a note on my desk, a permanent hatred for mirrors, a mutilated self-esteem, an eternal disappointment, and then, and only then, do you get to date the captain of the football team.
and the crown is in a laundry basket under my bed. silver to brown, one massive joke. but it really did feel good. it really, really did. that i cannot deny. and that night i vowed to betray my father in every single way possible, but failed on all accounts minus one, the greatest possible failure of my life? probably. but when you're eighteen, everything just feels so, so good, and you're so fucking invincible.
we don't want change. what we want is for things to stay the same, but get better. territorial. confused. so utterly confused. the face contorts in the same way that it always did, the gait a step ahead of me but still, from what i gather, the same.
[we're all tired talk when it comes to shove. put up, put out, or stay at home.]
chase me.
chase me, even if i stop looking back.
[if columbus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge.]
I wish you, would take a radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall
ReplyDelete"we don't want change. what we want is for things to stay the same, but get better." g damn it k, you hit the nail on the head. I think that described exactly what I have been feeling the last few days. It's so great when you are finally able to figure out why you are feeling a certain way. I'm just going to sit and meditate on that for the rest of class... XO