no excuse for my neglecting this here outlet for my mangled and stifled emotions.
we've been typing away, fingers on a rampage, but not here.
typing stories that dig up things i'd rather not investigate,
hence the dirt on them.
brush, brush, brush it off.
some visits, some ideas, some cataclysmic events.
but that's no excuse, either.
they spotted a UFO over a chinese airport.
all of a sudden, my life made sense again.
things to do:
formally renounce catholic faith, mainly for shits and giggles.
oh, and for women everywhere.
i make enemies to break enemies.
also, donate some bone marrow, sort some lives out and fix my own.
where am i? no excuse.
and you'd think that, after all of this,
after all the patience, actions, and right words dropped at the right time,
you would have fallen in love with me by now.
no excuse.
The strongest part is of curse the end, I find myself tracing and retracing every line of every letter that forms the words.
ReplyDelete"after all the patience, actions, and right words dropped at the right time" ----
"you would have fallen in love with me by now." ----
a perplexing thought, struck so close to home. But why? - What is it that seems to strum the cords of my heart so? I'm not certain why I feel so pervaded by something that seems so far gone - in the distance - gone. I am still such a stranger to myself it seems. Trial and error I suppose. But really I do often times find myself knee deep in activities I care so little for, well at least that used to be the case - now it seems that I've shed all actions for inaction. I'm frozen - no longer moving. Trapped? Who knows. I do know that I have burdened myself so much in order to attain a place within this world yet now even I struggle to find a valid reason to care for it all, you know? Times were once so simple and free - even now they try to be, yet they miss the ball entirely. The same principles cannot bring about a different end can they? 2+2 can never truly equal 10...or is that where the whole "Leap-o-faith" comes in? I suppose the real question is why aren't I making more of the time I've been so graciously given? Like the box tops on cereal boxes - send them in for a prize. X-ray glasses. I've paid my debt, and I've seen my horrors. I deserve to smile, and yet I only let life pass me by. I miss taking life by the balls and telling it what to do for me. I was so courageous,yet at that point I had nothing to lose, nobody to let down. Now - everything is so much different. Im confined, and yet i have never been more free. Weird.
Lol "of curse" wow I really should "proof" before submitting eh? xD
ReplyDelete