Caleb Steven Huffman
2007-2010
i remember the day i heard of your arrival; you and nolan came into this world a bit earlier than expected. complication after complication after complication, but you boys kept fighting.
i remember the first time i got to see you when you were finally home with your mommy and daddy. i walked into laura's room where your cribs were set up. there in the darkness, i saw lights flickering from monitors and machines and i heard all this beeping and i saw all these wires and i couldn't help but feel that you were being cheated. cheated from so early on, cheated in ways that i couldn't even vocalize. a nursery shouldn't feel like a hospital. from day one you were cheated, but you didn't care. you kept fighting.
i remember seeing you once after one of your many surgeries. i was afraid to hold you, afraid to hurt you, afraid of the scars, afraid of moving your shunt, just afraid. your daddy grabbed you from me and tossed you in the air and you couldn't have laughed louder. he swung you down in front of me and pointed to a scar on your belly. 'see this one here?' he asked. 'this is from a shark attack!' he flipped you over and pointed to another scar. 'and this one? a crazy ex-girlfriend!' and he tickled you and your smile couldn't have been any bigger. your daddy never wanted you to be scared, bucky.
far as i can tell, you never were. you are one of the most courageous individuals i'll ever have the privilege of knowing, caleb. i have two decades on you...and i'm ashamed to say that i've never fought for anything as hard as you fought to live.
you are superman.
you were cheated, time after time, but you didn't let anything get in your way. you never gave up, and neither did your parents. they took whatever news that came their way without batting an eye, and they are so proud of you caleb. so, so proud of you.
you are their hero; they are mine.
you were cheated. doctors gave you rules and restrictions, but before i knew it, you were holding your own bottle. then you were sitting up all on your own. then you were standing, and just last week? just last week i got to see you walk, and being in that living room that evening was one of the most important nights of my entire life. you've done more for people than you'll ever know.
on october 23rd, it was the world that was cheated.
when my phone went off saturday morning, i never...i just never thought...
i stopped believing in certain things a long time ago -- but i'd hate to think you went anywhere alone. may angels lead you in, caleb.
may angels lead you in.
2007-2010
i remember the day i heard of your arrival; you and nolan came into this world a bit earlier than expected. complication after complication after complication, but you boys kept fighting.
i remember the first time i got to see you when you were finally home with your mommy and daddy. i walked into laura's room where your cribs were set up. there in the darkness, i saw lights flickering from monitors and machines and i heard all this beeping and i saw all these wires and i couldn't help but feel that you were being cheated. cheated from so early on, cheated in ways that i couldn't even vocalize. a nursery shouldn't feel like a hospital. from day one you were cheated, but you didn't care. you kept fighting.
i remember seeing you once after one of your many surgeries. i was afraid to hold you, afraid to hurt you, afraid of the scars, afraid of moving your shunt, just afraid. your daddy grabbed you from me and tossed you in the air and you couldn't have laughed louder. he swung you down in front of me and pointed to a scar on your belly. 'see this one here?' he asked. 'this is from a shark attack!' he flipped you over and pointed to another scar. 'and this one? a crazy ex-girlfriend!' and he tickled you and your smile couldn't have been any bigger. your daddy never wanted you to be scared, bucky.
far as i can tell, you never were. you are one of the most courageous individuals i'll ever have the privilege of knowing, caleb. i have two decades on you...and i'm ashamed to say that i've never fought for anything as hard as you fought to live.
you are superman.
you were cheated, time after time, but you didn't let anything get in your way. you never gave up, and neither did your parents. they took whatever news that came their way without batting an eye, and they are so proud of you caleb. so, so proud of you.
you are their hero; they are mine.
you were cheated. doctors gave you rules and restrictions, but before i knew it, you were holding your own bottle. then you were sitting up all on your own. then you were standing, and just last week? just last week i got to see you walk, and being in that living room that evening was one of the most important nights of my entire life. you've done more for people than you'll ever know.
on october 23rd, it was the world that was cheated.
when my phone went off saturday morning, i never...i just never thought...
i stopped believing in certain things a long time ago -- but i'd hate to think you went anywhere alone. may angels lead you in, caleb.
may angels lead you in.
"An angel in the Book of Life wrote down my baby's birth,
and whispered as she closed the Book, 'too beautiful for Earth.' "
see ya on the other side, handsome. <3
Oh my god... I'm sobbing. What an incredible little man...... I can't help but feel sick. There isn't anything worse than the loss of a child who obviously had so much to give.
ReplyDeleteHear you me, may angels lead him in.
I've been thinking about this all day, quite literally... It brings me back to last year when my precious baby cousin went into liver failure and was basically given days to live. I spent a lot of time at the hospital. I remember being sickened because her mother asked everyone to "storm the gates of Heaven" with their prayers... She did eventually get better, but the thing that kills me is why this little boy? Why now? Because from my aunt's sick perspective, it would be because not enough people prayed. And that just fucking hurts. I have had his little face in my head all day, flashing back and forth with the shot of me and my cousin, and it just really breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteHe really was cheated. The world really was cheated.