Lines For Later

when the voices of boys scream you to sleep, when the foreign sun sheds light on your familiar disaster, when you look out his window and see what you won't admit, when you crawl back into bed and pretend to be proud, when high school romances come back to haunt you, when you pull out the coat that is that much thicker than the one before, the one you bought over there, when you were happy (?), when you’re back, when you were happy (?), when the wood on the porch cries out in pain and everything stops making sense, as if it ever did, when you were somewhere different last year with someone else, when the cigarette smoke spells out your name in the crisp ohio sky, when they roll their eyes, when you make them disappear, when you remember back in the day, scooting away, the monte carlo, sheltered and desperate, whips of sensation in places you’ve never been, when you make the executive decision to never turn back, when you simultaneously waste your breath and lose it, when you stop remembering and stop forgetting, when you stop being young, when you never stop growing up.

as a side note // people don't write enough about their pets, the things they did that they are ashamed of, and you know what? i don't think we write enough about broken hearts. i don't think we could ever write enough about broken hearts. about broken hearts. broken, broken hearts.

as a side note // though i am utterly terrified of them, i would much like to be a part of some secret society. moreover, i would much like to be something.